coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
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