We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I checked into jail on foursquare
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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