Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
