If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
