Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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