oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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