I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
