i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
