so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I'm too high and old for this...
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
