I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
