She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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