Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
