you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
