i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
