I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
