I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
