her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
