.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
