a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
