didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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