I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
someone owes me an orgasm
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
