Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Randomize
