AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
