redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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