Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
