I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Come share oat with me in your robe
Randomize
