need another drink. this is the easiest way
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize