when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Randomize
