The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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