Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
