I just pynch a tree in the face
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
