Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
