I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
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