I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Randomize
