No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
