I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
