im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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