thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
