dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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