the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
