i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize
