Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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