He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
COCAINE IS GR8
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
