don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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