What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
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