I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
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