no, he came in my armpit
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
