i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
