Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize