u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
