Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
