They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize