you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Randomize
