Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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