he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Randomize
