Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
