what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
